My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
