i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude i'm inner monologue high
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
