I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
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