guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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