A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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