Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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