Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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