The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
