Im at strip club and am horny
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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