I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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