Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
