I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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