My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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