actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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