my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
