She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
