I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
