should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
