Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
