Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
my poor anus
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
