ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
