it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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