shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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