Don't you send me to vm
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
