So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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