I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
