How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
