he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
