Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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