just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
