I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
