i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
