it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
