Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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