you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
