Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
