i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
