If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
