she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
