If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
