Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
