Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
