Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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