absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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