Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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