So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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