If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
