I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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