To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
