I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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