Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
