I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
